HARMONY - May 2012

Special Feature: Buddhist Parenting

In this month’s Harmony, we look at some of the challenges of parenting from the perspective of faith.

We have a natural desire to want to be good parents, to nurture our children as they grow. Promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of a child, from infancy to adulthood, can be very challenging at times. Parents are on a steep learning curve the moment the baby arrives, as they don’t come with an instruction manual.

Young parents often get advice and opinions from a lot of people; doctors, nurses, their own parents, relatives and friends, all advising them on what they should do.  A quick Internet search on “parenting” gives an overwhelming 288,000,000 results, with many differing thoughts as to how to raise “successful” children.  Putting the child first and balancing the needs of the child with one’s own is a constant juggling act, especially for a single parent.

As Buddhism teaches, each of us operates with the best intentions, but we act within the boundaries of our own and our family karma. We have the tendencies to copy and repeat what we learned from our own parents.  This is why a strong Buddhist practice is crucial for parents, enabling them to change their karma and give the child a solid foundation based on the wisdom developed through their chanting.

As you will read in our special features, one of roles of a parent is that of being a child’s first teacher.  Children are keen observers and will do as you do, not as you say. The lessons of right and wrong, compassion and conviction, individuality and unity, as well as gratitude and respect, are learned by copying the parents and are key for developing capable children. A parent’s unconditional love and care is also a crucial factor for the child to develop a healthy self-image and confidence.

President Ikeda has written on the importance of parenting and has a keen insight on raising children to become capable people. His advice is founded in the Buddhist principals of reason, compassion and love, for each individual and all humanity.

As President Ikeda says:

“All children are gems, full of precious potential. There is hope in every child since life itself is full of hope. Should the hopes of children be stifled or broken, that would be our responsibility as adults. It pains my heart to see what goes on in today’s society. I do not want to see the eyes of children darkened with fear and clouded with tears of sorrow. Society must be absolutely transformed. Children are mirrors that reflect adult society. When adults are ailing and their vision clouded, children will also suffer. Let us wipe away the tears of sorrow from the face of each child! We must protect children and give them courage, strength and vitality. It is parents who nurture children, the hope of humanity. How noble parents are! What a great mission and responsibility they fulfill.” (Buddhism Day By Day, p.174)

Robert “Skip” Williams
Editor-in-chief

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